


Say Hey if You're Gay

by enjolrascore



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Crack, Crack Fic, M/M, this is me running out of ideas is what tf this is, this isn't anything tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 05:03:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7253542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjolrascore/pseuds/enjolrascore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the "I just walked downstairs wearing a 'say hey if you're gay' T-shirt and Batman boxers. We had 8 people over" text post.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Hey if You're Gay

**Author's Note:**

> Idk what this is, but here you go. I'm out of inspiration...someone please help me.

Alec loved his mornings off. At least he usually did, but this morning was different. Magnus wasn’t in bed when he woke up, and he could hear light chatter from the living room. He assumed it was probably just a client, so he took his time rolling out of bed.

He only bothered to throw on a pair of boxers and one of the shirts that had been thrown on the ground the night before, not really caring who’s it was. The closer he got to the living room, the louder the chatter got, Magnus’s voice slightly louder than the rest. Alec brushed it off, just thinking it was more than one client. He rounded the corner and was met with what must have been at least half of the New York conclave.

Magnus noticed him first, breaking away from his conversation with Maryse, “Alexander, good morning!”

The room went silent and almost all eyes turned to him, “Morning. You didn’t tell me we were going to have company.”

“I didn’t know, sorry, Love.” He gave Alec a once over and chuckled, “Hey. Well, kinda hey.”

“What?” Alec asked, confused.

“Look at your shirt, darling.”

Alec did as he was told, reading the blocky white letters that stood out on grey fabric. _Say hey if you’re gay_. Well, that’s just perfect, what a better outfit to discuss clave issues in?

“Free wheeling hey?” Alec suggested, making his way over to the coffee machine.

Magnus snorted, “I like how you think. Pardon me, Maryse, we can continue in just a moment.”

Magnus walked over to Alec, giving him a kiss on the cheek and grabbing him a mug from the cupboard. Alec returned the kiss and took the mug, pouring himself some coffee.

“Guess I grabbed your shirt, sorry. What’s everyone doing here?” He asked, painfully aware of all the Shadowhunters intruding on his morning with his boyfriend.

“Something to do with Downworlder affairs, because I’m the only Downworlder available to ask, apparently.” Magnus replied, just a hint of irritation in his voice.

“Something like that. What’s so urgent it required half of the New York conclave, at ten am?”

“That’s actually what your mother and I were discussing, I’m not exactly sure. Maryse?”

Maryse blinked a few times and cleared her throat, “Umm, right, as I was saying. The Seelies and the vampires have been communicating, which is enough to spark concern, and they won’t speak with the Clave as to why the sudden shift. We were hoping Magnus had information. Everyone here is required for questioning and posterity.”

“Mom, Magnus isn’t a vampire or a seelie. Why would he know?” Alec pointed out, leaning back against the counter. Magnus leaned back with him, pressing their sides together.

“Well, no,” Maryse sighed, “But he is very informed when it comes to the Down World.”

Magnus reached for the coffee in Alec’s hands, taking a large drink before handing it back and replying, “While I see where you’re coming from, Alexander is correct. I know what my friends tell me, or what I hear at parties, and nothing else. However, I can confirm that this is a small number of people on both sides, not the entire community. Who knows, maybe it’s a pair of star crossed lovers meeting for hookups.”

“Mags.” Alec warned, not wanting to go down that road in front of his mother.

“No, you’re right, I would’ve heard about that at one of my parties.” He said jokingly, causing Alec to choke on coffee.

“So you’re saying you haven’t heard about this?” Someone from the back of the room asked.

“I’m afraid not. I tend to stay out of things that aren’t my business.”

“Alec,” Maryse tried, “Do you know anything?”

“This is the first I’ve heard of it. Magnus is right, it could be nothing for all we know, and this really is an issue for a later time.”

“At least until after breakfast.” Magnus muttered.

Alec reached out and put a hand on Magnus’s back, rubbing gently to try and reduce some of the stress. There were a few uncomfortable murmurs and some people glanced away, suddenly interested in the ceiling.

“Magnus, do you know anyone that might know?” Maryse asked carefully, very aware of how thin his patience was wearing.

“You could always try, oh, I don’t know, the vampires. They might know something about it. Also, it might be easier than just asking the nearest Downworlder, because he’s dating your son.”

“No need. You know that’s not why they came to you.” Alec said, trying to sooth Magnus, since he could feel his irritation rising.

Magnus gave him a look that clearly said _“yes it is and you know it”_. Alec nodded and cleared his throat, reassuring Magnus without words.

“Well, we clearly can’t help you. How about we call you, if we find anything out?” Alec offered.

Magnus snapped his fingers and the door flew open, “That sounds like a wonderful idea, darling! Please leave, now.”

They waited as the group of disgruntled Shadowhunters filed out of their apartment, the last one closing the door on the way out. Magnus sighed and leaned fully onto Alec.

“They have got to be fucking kidding me.” Magnus muttered. “Waking me up at the crack of dawn, and forcing half of the conclave into my apartment, just because I’m the most accessible Downworlder.”

Alec took a sip of his coffee, “I’m sorry. At least you didn’t greet your mom in a shirt that says ‘say hey if you’re gay’, there is no way she’ll ever forget that one.”

Magnus snorted, “I have to say, I’m a little sad I’m the only one that said hey. It wasn’t even a full hey, I can only give you a kinda hey.”

“Why did you say hey? You didn’t have to, my mother was right there.” Alec groaned, resting his head on his coffee cup.

“I just couldn’t miss the opportunity, Love. Not to mention it was hilarious, I’m telling Aline.”

“No!”

**Author's Note:**

> Check me out on tumblr @sapphiceponine  
> Requests are currently open :) . Also, I'm currently taking literally any and all AU prompts that are in my comfort zone, so send those on in (linked in my request rules); I am so out of ideas it's not even funny  
> Comments and kudos appreciated


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